Hannibal's house (where Jono isn't being lied to today), Friday

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal hadn't noticed anything different yet today himself. He'd heard the radio, which had made him cautious, but it wasn't as though he made a habit of lying to the cats, or even to Jono these days.

So, he was staying inside for the moment and working on new wedding preparations. It wasn't as though things could go bad that way, after all.



[OOC: Open post!]

Comments

[sharp_as_knives]

Ah, well that did explain quite a bit.

Hannibal debated letting it go, but sometimes a blunt approach was required.

"But this Emperor has power, and enough people believe the lies that the two combined make life very difficult for the remaining Jedi," he surmised, "particularly one as young as you would have been eight years ago."

He gave Kanan a calm, understanding look that wasn't quite a smile. "Being forced to rely on yourself, not knowing who to trust, is a difficult thing, particularly for a child. I myself wasn't actively hunted, and it was enough of a challenge. You have done very well for yourself." He did smile now, amused. "Until this island kidnapped you."

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan closed his eyes at that, going silent for a long stretch of seconds that felt like it bled into forever. He pulled in a breath. Let it go. Did it again.

Emotion, yet Peace.

This was not a conversation he'd ever banked on having.

"I survived," he said, at length. "That's more than most of the Order can say. And now I'm here, and it feels as if every other person I meet has held a lightsaber. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Here isn't your galaxy," Hannibal reminded him. "Your Emperor has no power here, and you'll find that the people here are much more likely to judge you based upon their experience of you, rather than any rumors or slander." He sighed. "With the notable exception of Anakin Skywalker."

He poured more coffee for Kanan, then reached for the cognac he'd used for the crepes and added a measure of that to it before passing the mug back. "But should you prefer to keep your identity to yourself to avoid word leaking back to your galaxy, it's understandable. I'll keep your secret."

[uncertain_dume]

"I don't trust this place," Kanan said, looking up at Hannibal as he reached, gratefully, for the coffee. Cognac was an excellent idea right about now. It really was. "It isn't my galaxy, but there are enough elements of it to keep me uneasy. I had a student who proudly announced that she was from Imperial Center before proceeding to spew the Empire's xenophobic garbage about the inferiority of non-human races. And the troopers in town... those are Imperial Stormtrooper uniforms. People are welcome to consider me as paranoid as they please, I won't deny it even when I can. But you've already told me about one person being taken away from this place. I hope you'll understand if I'd rather nobody else finds out."

[sharp_as_knives]

"I understand completely," Hannibal said. "And I assure you, I am very good at keeping secrets.

[uncertain_dume]

"Thank you," Kanan said, not entirely able to keep the relief out of his voice. He was silent for a few seconds as he drank his coffee, losing himself for a moment in the warmth of it, the taste of it on his tongue, the way the cognac added another, different sort of warmth on the way down. "I appreciate your discretion. Normally right about now would be when I decide it's time to leave town anyway, just to be on the safe side, but..." He glanced toward the window. "I have nowhere to go."

This was the first time in a long time that he could say that. He'd gotten good at having a next plan in the works, just in case. But the island posed a completely different challenge, there.

[sharp_as_knives]

"The island is very good at that," Hannibal acknowledged. "But it's also a very good haven for those that need it. I can't promise that, of course, but it might be worth staying for a while. I've never heard of the troopers here making trouble for anyone beyond practical jokes in the station, and as to your student..."

He smiled. "You've already given me a much better opinion of the Jedi than I had previously; you never know what minds you might change."

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan gave Hannibal a wry smile.

"I have no idea what I can do for a lifetime of Imperial conditioning. But you're the second one to say that the bucketheads haven't caused trouble. It's beginning to feel as though the biggest concern I could possibly have around here is one of my own, and I still haven't actually spoken to Master Skywalker since my arrival."

[sharp_as_knives]

"I would recommend caution if you do, but he's fortunately easy to avoid if you would rather not," Hannibal said.

"And may I congratulate you on at least being somewhat more fashionable than those dreadful robes?" he added, sensing Kanan needed a bit of a lighter subject. "Although should you ever decide to try something else, I would be happy to assist."

Please try wearing something other than the same clothes all the time, Kanan.

[uncertain_dume]

"I actually need to go clothes shopping one of these days. My priorities are terrible; it should have been one of the first things I did once I knew I had food and shelter taken care of. But here I am, washing the same clothes all the time because I have alcohol to buy."

That was the sign of a problem, Kanan.

"When I run, I pack lightly. It's usually just me, the clothes on my back, and a few items I've had with me since my time in the Order. So I dress practically but as far from the Jedi as I can get, and tend to avoid getting things I'm just going to leave behind anyway."

[sharp_as_knives]

Those were terrible priorities, Kanan. And yes, the sign of a problem.

"Why don't I make you a deal?" Hannibal said. "I'll take you clothes shopping, and you can drink my alcohol instead of spending all your money on that."

[uncertain_dume]

The other part of that whole mess, on the other hand, was that alcohol dulled the senses. The Force left him alone more readily when he was drunk.

That on its own was seductive, even without all of the things he'd drink to forget.

"I'd feel terrible," he cautioned. "Even if I wasn't acting like it. Nobody should have to pay for my fill of ferments just because I need clothes and have some bad habits."

[sharp_as_knives]

"That's good," Hannibal said. "Perhaps it will make you consider how often you need your fill of ferments." He arched an eyebrow. "I'm happy to indulge any habits, but if you feel you shouldn't, a slight disinclination could help."

[uncertain_dume]

"I know I shouldn't," Kanan muttered, in that tone that suggested that this wasn't really something he wanted to be saying, but that wasn't going to be stopping his mouth today. "It's a habit I throw myself into because it helps me shut off parts of myself that don't cooperate otherwise. It makes running easier, and running is surviving."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Shutting off parts of yourself rarely works in the long run," Hannibal said, "and can be anything from uncomfortable to fatal. The trick is to acknowledge those parts, to indulge and control them."

[uncertain_dume]

"I tried acknowledging those parts. But those parts are the dead giveaway that got most of the rest of the Order killed. I can't afford to have them," Kanan sighed. And wasn't this great coffee? This coffee was great. "And no Imperial is going to pay too much attention to a roustabout and occasional drunk who drifts from job to job. It's kept me alive this long."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Those parts other than the lack of fashion sense you've already abandoned?" Hannibal asked archly. "What are these giveaways that are so hard to suppress?"

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan's jaw clenched a little. Right. Here we go, then.

"Visions," he started. "That show themselves to me whether I want them to or not. Superhuman strength and agility, telekinesis, reflexes... I'll grab for them in an emergency, no matter who happens to be around. It doesn't sound like much, but I've had to leave planets behind on a few occasions because of things like that. The clones know what to look for. They've worked with enough Jedi, it's second nature to spot it."

He was going to stop himself here with another mouthful of that coffee. Cognac. He was a fan.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal was going to just keep answering that anxiety with his own calm patience. "So you stifle these urges and talents, and they surface at inconvenient times. It seems to me that exercising them, learning to use and control them fully, would be a better means of preventing that. Wouldn't it?"

[uncertain_dume]

"One might think that." Kanan sighed. "The thing is, my training wasn't complete when Master Billaba was killed and I was left on my own. And using the Force is intuitive to a degree, but there are reasons the Jedi have such strict rules. The Force can be dangerous, and seductive, and I was a half-trained kid with a built-in weapon who was afraid and alone and desperate and everyone I had ever known was either dead, or trying to kill me. It's like... putting a blaster on the stun setting instead of having it turned to kill all of the time. I wasn't going to unleash that power where it didn't belong."

[sharp_as_knives]

"It must have been incredibly difficult," Hannibal said. "But consider this - there are those here who could help you to train further. Either your Jedi, or others with experience of similar powers. You don't have to tell your secrets to the island as a whole, but here you have the luxury of time and potential teachers to learn better coping mechanisms than you've had to employ in the past."

[uncertain_dume]

Deep breath.

Ragged exhale. This was edging back into 'don't want to be here talking about this' territory again.

"Since I arrived here, I've only spoken with one other Jedi that might be able to train me," Kanan murmured, looking hesitant to open his mouth again. "And I'm afraid."

Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it.

[sharp_as_knives]

"Of failure?" Hannibal asked. "Or of success?" He poured Kanan another cup of coffee and set the bottle of cognac on the table between them.

[uncertain_dume]

Damn it, Hannibal.

"Both. The cost of failure is too high." He reached for the cognac. Poured a healthy dose into the cup. Stole another not-too-subtle glance toward the doorway. "So is the cost of success."

[sharp_as_knives]

"What is the very worst that happens if you fail?" Hannibal asked.