Hannibal's house (which might someday be Jono's, too), Saturday afternoon

[sharp_as_knives]

With Jono off at work, Hannibal had made himself lunch and then retired to the music room to compose something on harpsichord. He was playing for stretches, then writing down the parts he liked, happily working through it. Beethoven was curled up on the bench next to him, and Joni was curled up on top of Beethoven.

All in all, a quiet afternoon at home.


[OOC: Open for visits!]

Comments

[myownface]

"Karaoke, probably," Sparkle agreed. "Though around here it's a crapshoot, anyway. There are plenty of people who are fun to spend a night with, and some who are good at friends who still have, like, lives and whatever. But, like, the odds of a 'settle down with' kind of guy being at karaoke on this island, with like its two decent bars and maybe three single guys left, two of which are totally straight? Pff."

That 'pff' was fairly eloquent all on its own.

[sharp_as_knives]

"There's nothing to say you have to stay on the island," Hannibal pointed out. "Baltimore and DC have quite a few more bars and single men in them."

[myownface]

"Yeah, but then we run into a whole different problem, where whenever I hit on some guy at a bar that isn't on the island, he literally tries to kill me."

IT HAD HAPPENED AT LEAST TWICE NOW.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal paused to raise an eyebrow at Sparkle before he turned the crepes. "Perhaps you need to visit a better quality of bar."

[myownface]

Sparkle scrunched his nose a little bit at that suggestion. Sure, he was over the drinking age in Maryland even by his own home's standards, now. That didn't mean he much cared for the kind of bar that cared about little things like carding.

"So... the boring kind."

Not getting shot at was apparently boring, now. Sparkle needed to stop hanging out with... everyone he'd ever gone to a bar with. Ever.

[sharp_as_knives]

"I imagine there is a wide range of possibilities between boring and being shot at," Hannibal answered. "Also, it would help if you learned to better determine the sorts of people who are likely to shoot at you, so that you can avoid them."

[myownface]

Okay, Sparkle couldn't argue with that logic. Really. At all.

"... Then I guess the trick is finding the type of person who isn't going to shoot a person, but who doesn't mind dating a fugitive arsonist."

Oops.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal added the fruit to the crepes, folded them over, set a lid on the pan, and turned off the heat to let them set.

Then he faced Sparkle, giving him all his attention. "Is that what you are?"

[myownface]

Hooboy. Sparkle knew by now what getting all of Hannibal's attention meant. He swallowed, and pulled in a deep breath, and then shrugged and scratched awkwardly at his shoulder.

"If you ask anybody back home, anyway."

[sharp_as_knives]

"I'm not asking anybody back home. Neither is anybody you meet anywhere else. A new beginning, remember." Hannibal would be very disappointed if you weren't taking advantage of that, Sparkle.

[myownface]

Sparkle was silent for a few moments, wanting to look... basically anywhere but at Hannibal, though he managed to resist the urge to turn his head to stare at a wall.

"I'm not quick to trust new beginnings, I guess. They're never as foolproof as everyone thinks they are."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Certainly not if you don't try," Hannibal answered firmly. He plated the crepes and slid the plate towards Sparkle, following it with a napkin and fork. "Your past played a part in creating you, but it is not who you are. Create yourself."

[myownface]

Sparkle bit his lip and sighed as he looked down at the crepes, murmuring a "Thank you," before trying to piece together more words.

Hooboy.

"Create myself," he echoed. "What if I still haven't completely figured out what it is I want myself to be?"

[sharp_as_knives]

"You don't have to have all the answers at once," Hannibal answered more mildly. "You just have to be willing to find them."

He poured the coffee and set out the cream and sugar, doctoring his own cup before he sat down.

[myownface]

There were a few moments of quiet while Sparkle sat there, mulling that over.

"I kind of figured that being back here would be a start. Taking over at the clothing shop, crashing in the apartment with Atton, all of that. And there are things that seem kind of like a start, I guess? But whenever I start to get comfortable, the island throws something out there that makes me start to wonder again."

[sharp_as_knives]

"You glimpsed a past that you thought buried, and a future you never want to achieve," Hannibal surmised. "What bothered you about them?"

[myownface]

"The past stuff just made me feel... small," Sparkle sighed. "I felt things I haven't let myself feel in years, all out of breath and flat, like there was no air left in the room around me. And the future stuff..."

He wrinkled his nose.

"I hate when the island shows us future stuff. It's like, hey, here it is, this is you, take a good long look at all the shitty places you could end up if you keep it up, good job."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Consider the future visions a cautionary tale," Hannibal suggested. "They certainly are a thing that can happen; they are far from the only possibility. Learn from them what you shouldn't do, if you don't want that outcome."

[myownface]

"Yeah, I try to do that," Sparkle replied, nodding a little. "Most of them keep pulling out the same scare tactic, keep showing me a life where I rotted in prison for a while, lost basically all of my friends, that sort of thing. I'm not in a hurry to live that life."

[sharp_as_knives]

"You've already avoided it once," Hannibal pointed out. He smiled. "And I have no intention of abandoning you. Eat your crepes."

[myownface]

Sparkle's mouth kind of went a little dry at that. It was still hard to say his thanks for something like that, to show his appreciation when somebody said they weren't going to leave him and they meant it. He didn't want to believe it. It was safer to not believe it.

Always had been.

"Someday, I'll be able to take that at face value," he sighed, reached for his fork, and cut a bit off the side of his crepe. "I'm trying. It's... not... like... anything against you personally if I don't, right away. I know you've been here since as far back as you knew me, you know? And I appreciate it. A lot."

There was a very short list of people in the world who hadn't let Sparkle down. It was hard to believe that the list wasn't going to get shorter right away, but he appreciated very much that it hadn't.

"So, thank you."

For giving him something to try to take at face value. For being there.

[sharp_as_knives]

"You're welcome." Hannibal sipped his coffee calmly. "I know it isn't personal; you've been terribly wounded by your past. The challenge, as you see, is not to let it define you.

He squeezed Sparkle's hand briefly. "Remember - you have overcome it all before. You're still here. Anything you become from this point on can be your own decision. And should you need help in deciding, I'm always willing to be a sounding board."

[myownface]

"When you're not being run ragged by wedding planning?"

Look at Sparkle, suddenly desperate to steer the topic to something a little less himself again. He loved being the center of attention in all the ways that didn't matter for anything. This was overwhelming.

He was going to get all choked up.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal smirked but allowed the change of subject. "I have no intentions of letting it run me ragged. I enjoy planning parties. Although if we could set a date, that would be a good start."

[myownface]

"Might help," Sparkle agreed, skewering some fruit on his fork and taking another bite. After he'd swallowed, he added, "If there's anything I can to to make life easier for you guys while you're planning, let me know, hey?"