Hannibal's house in Baltimore, Sunday evening

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal had decided to forego the dinner tonight; after returning from the zombie play on the island, there wasn't time for anything elaborate, and he had a feeling Raven might not want much anyway.

So instead, there was a bit of wine and some very good cheese in the study, and he sat waiting in a very comfortable chair.


[OOC: waiting for one! NFB]

Comments

[trigons_child]

"Not from those they are about," Raven said, flinching a little. "That is inexcusable."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "You are a vegetarian; you choose not to eat meat, because you believe it's wrong." He kept his voice low and soothing. "If the only food available were meat, and you were starving, would you be tempted to eat it?"

[trigons_child]

"I would not wish to die," Raven admitted. "In Azarath I was raised to believe that nothing should have to die to nourish us, but...I would be tempted, yes."

[sharp_as_knives]

"You hunger for these emotions, but you deny them to yourself. Like denying yourself meat." Hannibal smiled kindly at her. "When you are at your best, it's no problem at all. But when you are starving, any source of sustenance will do, regardless of your personal morals."

[trigons_child]

Raven gave him a confused and uncertain look. "You think that I should indulge my cravings so that they do not overpower me?" she said. It did make a certain amount of sense; she'd made the mistake of repressing her emotions before, and it had just made her feel worse in the end.

[sharp_as_knives]

"When you killed that man who threatened Jono, how did you feel after? Was it easier to control your hunger?"

[trigons_child]

"I felt...satisfied," Raven admitted, the redness of her cheeks now due to a flush of shame rather than her demon side manifesting again. "But also disgusted with myself for what I had done."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Are you disgusted for me eating meat?" Hannibal asked, giving her an encouraging smile.

He chose not to specify what type.

[trigons_child]

"No," Raven said slowly, shaking her head. "I know that by nature most humans are carnivorous. I do not judge anyone for that."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Nor do I judge you for your appetites," Hannibal answered, holding out his hands, "nor should you judge yourself."

[trigons_child]

Raven reached for his hands. "It makes me feel ashamed," she said, and for someone that was supposed to represent Pride, that was a horrible thing. "And afraid of myself and what I could do."

[sharp_as_knives]

"A healthy respect for your abilities, and caution in exercising them, is admirable," Hannibal answered. He held her hands gently but firmly. "But never be ashamed for being yourself." He looked her in the eye. "You need to stop punishing yourself for the way you were born."

[trigons_child]

"I have been punishing myself for years," Raven said. Her instinct was to drop her head and hide her face, but she tried to keep Hannibal's gaze. "I do not think I know how to not do so."

Her own self-loathing ran deep, and the resulting conflict with Pride made her an emotional mess far too often.

[sharp_as_knives]

"I will help you find ways," Hannibal answered, smiling. He squeezed her hands reassuringly. "It won't be all at once, and it won't be a straight line from here to there, but I'm certain we can get you to that point."

[trigons_child]

"Thank you," Raven said, fighting back tears. It was hard for her to admit she needed help, but now that she had, she felt a strange sense of relief.

[sharp_as_knives]

"You are very welcome, my dear." Hannibal reached out to hug her if she was of a mind for it. "It is always my pleasure to help my friends."

[trigons_child]

Raven fell into Hannibal's embrace with a soft sob, shaking as she clung to him. She felt so raw and exposed with the admission of how much she despised herself.

The nightmare faded around them, and they were back in the study. Raven's eyes were closed; she was still in a trance.