Hannibal's house, Wednesday evening

[sharp_as_knives]

Will's trial date was getting closer, and Hannibal had a lot on his mind. But never let it be said he didn't have time to cook for a troubled friend. And if Raven were going to keep her promise and speak to him about the things that were bothering her, the least he could do was ensure it began over a decent meal.

So, dinner was finishing up, and now he was only waiting for the guest of honor.

Dinner:
sugar-snap pea and cheese curd salad
butternut squash cappellacci with sage brown butter
stuffed mushrooms
roasted asaparagus
2001 Domaine Weinbach Gewurztraminer Furstentum Quintessence de Grains Nobles

Dessert:
chocolate cheesecake mousse cups with sweet berry compote
2001 Kruger-Rumpf Münsterer Pittersberg Riesling Eiswein


[OOC: Open for phone calls, etc.; expecting one!]

Comments

[trigons_child]

"I have sensed frustration and anger in many others, but never so dark as what I feel, not unless it was unnaturally induced," Raven said slowly. "Are you certain it is normal? How are you supposed to deal with such thoughts? I just want them to stop."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Perhaps you don't feel others' as strongly as your own?" Hannibal suggested. "Or perhaps you do feel them more deeply. It could be due to your heritage, or it could be due to your training." He shook his head. "I've never met anyone who was denied emotions for so long."

He kept his voice low and soothing. "When somebody attempts to repress their feelings, it never ends well. It's like...a bottle of champagne. If you remove the cork properly, you get only a slight pop. If you keep it closed and agitate it until it can no longer contain the pressure, it can be explosive."

[trigons_child]

Raven nodded. "I know that much is true," she said, remembering her near-hysterical confrontation with Karla before she'd officially formed her Court. "I have held in anger and sorrow, and it proved itself to be very unhealthy."

She felt the doubt creeping in, and even some embarrassment. Was she over-reacting to this? Was it really perfectly normal, strange as it seemed? "I do still have much to learn about emotions," she admitted. "I did not have the years of development that others have. I react too strongly or poorly at times. I confused love and lust once. I did not understand the difference at that time."

[sharp_as_knives]

"And that, as I believe I've mentioned, is something even people who have always known their emotions can struggle with," Hannibal answered with a smile.

"No human - and I would venture to say no sentient being - can deny their emotions forever. If you strive for that, then yes, you are doomed to failure. You must learn to accept them, accept yourself. Then I believe the rest will become easier."

Whichever "rest" she wanted then.

[trigons_child]

"Once I allowed myself to start experiencing my own emotions, I knew I could not go back to how I was," Raven said. "Friendship and love were too precious to turn my back upon. And even when I was not supposed to have emotions, I did, no matter how hard I tried to suppress them. I feared my father, and I had compassion for those who needed healing. But I do not know how I can accept the darker side of me, this anger and lust and desire to do harm."

She shook her head with a little sigh. "You have never seen me when I am like that. It is not something I would ever want you to see."

[sharp_as_knives]

"I will take your word for that," Hannibal answered gently. "As to accepting it - I would advise you not to think of it as a darker side. Love can be destructive. Anger can be a good thing. No one emotion is inherently good or bad."

[trigons_child]

"That is true," Raven agreed. "But, please, show me how am I to think of it otherwise. I love the family I have made in Fandom the way they are. I do not want to force you all into the aspects of sin my brothers represent, as I do in my dreams. It frightens me so much, and I want them to stop."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal shook his head. "You give me too much credit if you believe I can cure nightmares in one hour. I could offer you medication, but you would know better than I if it would work. I do know some therapies that may help, though. If you're interested."

[trigons_child]

She had to struggle with Pride for a moment, but Raven nodded. "I am," she said slowly. "I am interested."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Well," Hannibal answered, "one is to ensure you are adequately exercised, healthy, and - among other things - fed." He smiled. "If you're feeling up to it, why don't we finish dinner while I tell you of the others?"

[trigons_child]

"Of course," Raven said, not without a twinge of guilt for delaying the meal. "I hope I have not caused it to grow too cold while we have talked."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Nonsense." Hannibal hugged her again before letting her go. "Let me know if you find it too cool, and I will heat it for you." In an oven. Hannibal Lecter Did Not own a microwave."

[trigons_child]

Raven dabbed her eyes with her napkin before putting it in her lap and taking a moment to compose herself. She picked up her fork and tried the salad first.

"Oh, this is delicious," she said, smiling at Hannibal after she'd finished her first mouthful.

[sharp_as_knives]

"Thank you." Hannibal smiled back. "I admit I'm finding it a bit of a challenge to cook without meat, but without a challenge from time to time, a person stagnates."

[trigons_child]

"I am pleased you find it as a challenge and not a nuisance," Raven said. "I never wish to be trouble."

[sharp_as_knives]

"You haven't been yet," Hannibal assured her. "If you ever are, I will let you know."

[trigons_child]

"And you will tell me how to make it up to you, I would hope," Raven said lightly. Her voice grew more serious as she added, "You do know if ever you are injured,I will happily heal you. It is the very least I can do."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Thank you," Hannibal answered. "While I hope I will never need to ask, I know better than to tempt fate by refusing the offer."

He started eating himself, speaking in between bites. "As to other therapies, they mostly involve ensuring you are in a good frame of mind when you fall asleep. Make your bedroom a peaceful place, soothing. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Sleep regularly."

He chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then added. "There is also visualization. While you are awake, rehearse your dream. Think about what you would like to happen in it. Begin with where it is, and picture where you would like it to go, repeatedly. Teach your mind the path you want to take."

[trigons_child]

Raven took a moment to savor the cappellacci. "I have not slept well as of late at all," she admitted. "With the exception of the two days where my relaxation was enhanced by those mood crystals. I have tried to avoid sleep as long as I can, because I do not want to face the nightmares."

[sharp_as_knives]

"There is a reason all of those but the visualization are also advised for insomnia," Hannibal noted. He gave her a curious and speculative look. "We could try hypnosis as an aid to the visualization, if you are willing and think it would work."

[trigons_child]

"Hypnosis?" Raven repeated with a curious look of her own. "I do not know much about that? How would it work?"

[sharp_as_knives]

"Think of it as a form of guided meditation," Hannibal advised. "The object is to place you in a suggestible state, and then to help you picture the appropriate outcome."

He thought about it for a moment as he ate his next bite, then shrugged. "Even if it didn't work in that fashion, I suppose the guided visualization couldn't hurt, could it?"

Of course not. This would end well.

[trigons_child]

Raven took a sip of wine, thinking that over. "I am well-versed in meditation," she said. "It is how I try to center myself when my thoughts are troubled or my emotions are high. It has not been helping me much as of late, but perhaps you are right. A guide might be of great assistance since I feel I cannot trust myself, and that could be what is sabotaging me finding peace."

She gave Hannibal a hopeful look. "Will you please help guide me, Dr. Lecter?" she asked.

[sharp_as_knives]

"It would be an honor," Hannibal answered, raising his wine to her with a smile.

[trigons_child]

Raven raised her glass as well, letting herself feel just the tiniest bit of hope that her dreams were just dreams and she wasn't destined to turn on her friends. "Thank you," she said.