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[personal profile] sharp_as_knives
Abigail around meant a lot of things, but one of them was cooking breakfast for more than just himself. She rolled her eyes and grinned at his showmanship, and Hannibal smiled back and realized he truly was a little sorry to have missed out on more of this.

Even if breakfast itself consisted of her throwing insults at his husband across the table.

"Faggot actually works two different ways," she pointed out.

Jono just gave her a raised eyebrow from across the table, faint amusement in his eyes.

//That one has actually occurred to me already,// he noted, waving at the flames with one hand. //You'll need to try harder than that, luv.//

Honestly, Abigail, if you were trying to play top-that, you'd have to dig pretty deep. Jono had heard most of them long before you were even a thought. The joys of growing up in a family of mutants descended from mutant cultists, really.

"I'm just saying." She took a forkful of eggs and thought about it. "So lit you can't see straight?"

//Alright,// Jono allowed after a moment, //that one's actually so clever I can't even bring myself to be insulted by it.//

Yes! Abigail made a fist in victory. Not that that was the point - she was supposed to be finding an insult. But hey, it was a kind of win. "See, all the really insulting ones are just boring. Like, 'filth' or whatever. Anybody can be that."

//But you want this insulting experience to be unique and new,// Jono surmised. //I think if this keeps up, mostly I'll just be flattered that you're being so creative about it.//

There was a lot of effort going into trying to do worse than anyone that had come before.

Abigail pouted at him. "But that defeats the purpose!"

Hannibal looked over at her. "Or you could concede, and stop trying to insult him."

"That's no fun, either." Abigail gave him a look right back. "It's not like I can insult you. Doctor Chilton already did the worst."

Hannibal made a face. "He owns the rights to it, too. I would fight him for that, if I intended to return."

//Is he the one who wrote the book with the alliterative title?// Jono was making a bit of a face, too. //... I mean, it isn't that clever. Man knows how to rhyme. Made a food pun.//

Sorry, Hannibal. He'd been googling a bit, out of curiosity. He hadn't bought the book, but he'd stared at it for a while in bemusement. He didn't need to read up on the inner workings of anybody's mind. He was a goddamn telepath.

And one who had been in Hannibal's mind (and vice versa) several times. Hannibal gave Jono a look of shocked betrayal. "I don't know if I should be more outraged you found the thing, or that you've been secretly improving your internet skills."

Abigail snickered.

Jono... Just kind of casually looked up at the ceiling with a shrug. Super casual. Really. And not at all like he'd just been caught out at something.

//Found it by fluke,// he managed. //Goggle-dot-com or whatever it is is still about my limit.//

Sure, Jono. Tell that to someone who hadn't seen you put together a collar that could make a person fly with just a screwdriver and some odds and ends.

"Mm-hm." Hannibal wasn't buying it at all, Jono.

Nor was he buying the book, tempting as it was to mark it up and send it back to Chilton. It wouldn't be nearly as fun without seeing the man's face when he got it.

"I want to go out and do things," Abigail announced. She shrugged. "Unless we're doing family time all weekend. Watching sappy movies, playing board games…"

//I cheat at Monopoly,// Jono proudly announced, happy to get off the topic of his ability to run a search engine. //What sort of things did you want t'do?//

"That's okay; he cheats at Life," Abigail said. "How do you cheat at Monopoly?"

//That's my secret to know, and your secret to wonder about,// Jono declared, putting his nose up into the air and crossing his arms over his chest.

Also it might have involved some creative making other people think they were rolling numbers they were not actually rolling. You know. Hypothetically.

In his own defense, Monopoly was a horrid game and anything that would make a round of it shorter than it possibly could be was probably deserving of accolades, damn it.

"Be that as it may," Hannibal said, "what would you like to do, Abigail?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. What is there around here? Just...get out. See people other than you two. Even dead kids don't need to hang around their parents all the time."

//Ah, well...// Jono glanced at Hannibal. //I suppose there's th'Perk if you just want to socialize. Maybe there's something playing in the cinema...// He actually managed a smirk. //We could go to the bowling alley.//

Because he knew how much Hannibal loved the bowling alley.

"I am not spending my time sitting in a movie," Abigail said. And she could guess how much Hannibal would like the bowling alley. So… "How about the bowling alley?"

Hannibal gave them both a look.

//Oh,// Jono said, giving Hannibal his brightest (ha) smile, //I like her.//

[OOC: Preplayed with the lovely [ profile] furnaceface!]
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